What pain is telling you including headaches & migraines (Ep.10)

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Transcript

 Welcome to the Holistic Health Sisters podcast with Wellness and Real life sisters Hannah Carr and Sarah King from the Holistic Health Collective. In this podcast, we're gonna be sharing our passion for holistic health and spirituality and healing and hormones and plant medicines, seasonal living. And our love of nature and our love of community is take a nice deep breath.

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We love and appreciate you today.

 Welcome. Let's hang out. Together you are with me, Hannah Carr, today for a soloed episode on pain. Now I wanna give you a word of warning. I'm in my passion energy today, and when I'm in my passion energy, and also when I'm in my playful energy and I'm being truly authentic, then hmm. A few F' bombs might be dropped.

So, I can have free reign on this podcast, and I know that you haven't got your little kids listening in the back. Pop your earphones, just pause now, pop your earphones in in case anything comes out because how I actually truly wanna start this podcast is, are you ready? Yo, yo, yo, motherfuckers. How you doing?

I am recording this on the Aries New Moon, and. Oh my gosh. Woo. It has been a wild ride. I wanna say this area's New Moon is really bringing it for me. But actually the truth or the truth is the buildup has been bringing it for me, but actually as we are in the portal of the New Moon, actually things are starting to shift.

So I wouldn't have been able to record this podcast episode a few days ago. I have actually been in deep pain. And pain is consuming, right? All consuming sometimes, and so  That's not the best place to try and record a podcast episode. But energy has shifted and I am in, wow. I just wanna say like the brilliance of life, like the messages of the pain, just, ah, so many things, like, so many lessons. I'm so excited to share them with you. And oh, pain is such a big subject, but because it's been so relevant for me this week.

'cause other things I wanted to talk to you about as well, but it's like, no, I'm in it. I think it's really important to record these messages whilst I'm in the learnings, because they're more powerful than more activating. So I would love for you to think about, to fill into. A pain in your life that might be physical.

I'll mention a few, right? Maybe you have jaw pain clench in the jaw. Maybe you have migraines, maybe you have, um, headaches. I'm gonna record another podcast episode on this actually because this is very much related to liver energy and I want to, um, share a little bit more about what you, uh, about that with you.

So keep an eye out for one, coming up soon on the liver. Um. Maybe you have knee pain, hip pain, back pain. Um, someone I saw this week has leg pain. So many pains, tooth pain. Oh, it goes on and on. There's, there's so many options, but there's also like, um, emotional pain, right? Emotional pain, sorrow, guilt, shame.

Anger that we're trying to repress. Just the human experience a allows for a lot of feelings, a lot of different feelings, and so there's a whole range that we can experience and it's actually all part of the beauty of life. The rich tapestry. Of life. But often when we're in pain, we don't think that we resist, we distract, we suppress, we ignore, we try to fix.

That's my go-to try to fix, um, the one thing that we don't want to do. And is this true for you? I'm talking collectively here, myself included. You don't want to surrender and feel it. Why is that?

If I just give you a minute to come to your own conclusions about your own pain, why don't you wanna feel it?

How do you push pain away? Do you work through pain? Maybe you get period pain and you just get on with it. Maybe you've got a headache and you just carry on. Do you push down feelings with food?

You feel a bit lonely or bored or sad, so you eat.

Do you suppress with painkillers? Like, pass me the ibuprofen or pass me the paracetamol

and wonder, why Would you ever wanna. Feel it, and you could just take something and get rid of it, which is, in my experience, that's not the truth because it just comes back.

If you had a headache once and you took a painkiller and it got rid of it, are you telling me that you've never, ever had a headache again? No. It just comes back another time to deal with, it's like, hi, I'm back. Are you ready for me today? And you go, no, no, you're not ready. You're not ready. And for some people, that's a whole lifetime.

And these medications have side effects as well. My gosh, what we doing to our gut health? That's another podcast episode I wanna record for you. What we doing to our, what are we doing to our gut health? What are we doing to our bowels, for example? What are we doing?

To ourselves, to our emotions that want to be felt to our pain, that wants to be felt, someone needs to feel it. I wanna give you an example with anger, right? There's, I saw this sort of meme or something, and it was like a fifties, fifties kind of dress, and the husband comes home, no, sorry, the husband's at work and his boss shouts at him.

So it's called anger transference. The boss is angry and takes it out on the husband. The husband doesn't express that anger. He holds it in. Just be polite in front of the boss, comes home, takes it out on his wife, right? The wife is angry and the wife then tells their child off and the child is angry and takes it out on the kitten.

In this meme, anger transference. And what I've come to realize in my family is we have frustration. Transference. I'll give you an example.

One of my children may do something and it might frustrate my husband, and he will verbally communicate with them, verbally communicate that frustration.

They then feel frustrated. They probably push it down. I'm sharing this because you probably have this in your family too, right? They push it down. Who knows when and where that comes out. Could be to their friends at school, could be to the pet like it was in this meme. And I feel angry with my husband for talking to my children a way that I don't think is like aligned to the highest best that we could be doing as a family.

I might share that frustration with him, so it's going round in his little circle or handing it from one person to the next, or I might push it down

and pretend that I'm not frustrated. I'm just laughing at the whole situation now. It's actually quite comical. Oh my gosh. Someone needs to feel the feeling. Someone needs to own the feeling and actually feel it, which will mean expressing it. And it doesn't mean expressing it towards someone else. You don't have to take it out on someone else.

You can say, I'm so frustrated. I need to stamp and throw a little pad over here and I'm gonna do it like in my own private space. Right? Or I'm gonna like scream. Someone was telling me, I run women's circle. Someone was in their women, uh, in their car, and a scream, a guttural scream just came from what she felt like was like out of nowhere and didn't really understand why.

Right? We need to release the anger and the frustration, and if we don't, it gets pushed into the body. This is my belief, my understanding. And that creates dis-ease. So that could be an illness or it could be a pain, or maybe it could show up as like, um, emotional shutdown, detachment and, um, challenges in relationships or passive aggressiveness.

So many things. So what I'm here to bring you today in this episode is to say. What if pain was simply a messenger? What if pain was simply your body's way of getting your attention? Hey, you didn't realize that you're holding a lot of resentment in your back. Hey, you didn't know that you've got kidney stones because you're holding a lot of fear.

Hey. You're not realizing that you've got a fear of the future. I'm gonna try and get your attention with knee pain. You're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, so you've got shoulder pain to let you know like, wow, what if we got super curious? What if we didn't avoid distract, numb, push down.

Gaslight ourselves when we say, you know, it's not, we make, it's not as bad as what it really is. Other people have got it worse. We're not actually honoring what's going on.

What if you actually truly done what you needed to, which might be booked time off work, or get help with the kids or. Um, it might just be an evening that you've got, but you don't watch TV or you don't do what you normally do. You don't go to the gym. You actually just be with the freaking pain. You breathe into it.

Take a deep breath with me. And as you breathe into it, you allow any wisdom that wants to come through. It might come through in images, it might come through in aha moments. It might come through as words. It might come through intuition. It might come through as inner a knowing,

but you don't make up a story about the pain. Here's two common stories, right? One common story. Uh, you feel sorry for yourself. You move into victim and you think it doesn't really matter what you do. Nothing ever helps and you feel like it's just gonna be here forever, which is not true because all, all emotions move quickly if we allow them.

And the same can be, uh, true of physical elements.

Excuse me.

So we're with it. We breathe through it. Do you know a bit like childbirth? You've ever witnessed it on tv, you've seen it in a movie, or you've had the experience yourself? When the contractions come or in hypnobirth and they call it surges, they, they don't attach a negative word to it. As the surges come, you breathe through it, and now they actually, um, teach women to breathe a baby out as well.

So you use the breath,

you probably know what your pain needs. So we had a moon ceremony online, so if you don't already know about it, we run a, a women's. Monthly, I guess it's a health membership online where we're helping you balance your mind, your body, and your soul, and we are giving you all the tools that you need to do that, and crucially, the community to support you in making those changes.

So we had an online moon ceremony this morning. It's always recorded so you can get the catch up when you're inside the membership. And a couple of women in that circle brought forward their pains.

And so what I suggested offered that they could do, and you could do this from, um, like a bladder pain to, um, an me pain, to a stinging in your noise, uh, sorry. Stinging noise in your ears, which we could say is kind of like a pain. Some days it will be worse than others. It's not gonna be consistent, A consistent pain amount, day in, day out, and it never ever changes.

Some days it's gonna feel better, some days it's gonna feel worse, and there's messages in that. So the days that it feels worse, as a naturopathic nutritionist, my first question is to myself and to my clients, what did you eat? It would either be yesterday or that day. So sometimes I'll have someone say, um, they've got stomach pain.

I'll say, what did you eat last night? And they say, fish and chips. Like, boom. There you go. There's the answer. They're very simple, these connections, but we don't always see it. Um, someone today in circle said that their pain was worse today, and actually they had a lot of anxiety and stress yesterday.

There's your answer.

On a day. Sorry, let me just, let me just stay on that actually. So it is not just food. It could be emotions, it could be environment, it could be stress. It could be activity either way. When I say either way, I mean like not doing enough that can cause a stress or doing too much that can cause a stress.

But when your pain feels better, which is probably the days that you forget about it, the days that you're not focusing on it, you forget that you ever had it. Actually Paul's a notice. Oh, today I feel really good in this area. What's different? And so I shared in moon ceremony today that Sarah had had a Niggling Health challenge recently.

And one morning, uh, this week it was better. And I said, what was different? She said, nothing, absolutely nothing. And I said, well, you just told me that you canceled going to the gym and that you went out into your garden and done some gardening that morning instead. So something was different. So these discomforts in the body, the body's way of like saying and out what you're doing is out of alignment.

Its trying to get your attention. And so then I said in moon ceremony today, like. Basically you've got to do more of what you love. And someone said in the in the chat box, like, I need to work out that what that is. And yes, that is part of it. We do need to work out what that is because when we've been serving other people our whole lives, we have forgotten.

But also let's not kid ourselves. We know. So I was like, look for me, I completely music on. And it feels like yes, it feels like a yes. What feels like a yes in your body and some of the things that come through Birdsong and nature, that's a yes. That's a hundred percent yes. Someone shared. That's like a fuck yes.

It's not like I need to think about it. I'm not sure. It's like, fuck yes. What is a full body? Yes. It could be called a full body. Yes. Or it could be called a fuck Yes. That makes your heart sing. So a couple of other people shared, um, time in nature, dancing, singing. These are like. Universally things that people love, maybe like shower or bath or swim.

So a lot of people were like, uh, water and nature. Um, maybe being creative for you, maybe creating art, maybe being creative by cooking your dinner.

So I had a huge experience last night myself. I've been in this, I've had this, uh, trap nerve and this back pain and I feel like what my body really wants is more movement and I don't really get the opportunity to do it. So I just created the opportunity and what I created was so profound. Well, I couldn't sleep till four 30 this morning 'cause I had so much energy cosing through my body.

So much excitement. That's why I said I wanted to bring the, um, authentic energy to this podcast

because I'm feeling it at the moment. So I moved my body in ways that made my heart absolutely singing. In fact, it brought me to tears. It brought me to tears. The, how can I say it? The. Freedom of the movement in my body, my whole neck, my shoulders, my back was saying yes, yes, yes. More

so. What does your body say Yes to? Pause this and write it down. Get out your phone, put it in your notes section, pause it, and go and find your journal. Don't just listen and move on to the next thing. Write it down and remind yourself, like, how are you going to create more times to do these things? And most of the time it's just deciding.

It's just allowing yourself and deciding how can you do that today and tomorrow and the next day, even if it's for like one minute, five minutes, 10 minutes, how can you do it? You can do it. Or would you prefer to stay with the pain because it's your choice? And this is what I also said in ceremony today.

Your discomfort, your pain may be bringing you benefits. Maybe you don't have to work full time and that's a benefit to you. Maybe you get more help around the house. Maybe it's the only way that maybe it comes a a story. When you're younger. You only ever got paid attention if you were ill, right? And that felt really good.

And so the body's found a way to get the attention that it craves

and a million other reasons. So if you're not willing to take the steps. Your body is telling you be that free food. You eat a food and your body's like, yes, or you eat another food and it gives you diarrhea. Like if that food gave you diarrhea, that food is not suiting you. Your body's feeding back to you.

If you eat a food and you've got tummy cramps, that food is not suiting you and your body's feeding back to you. Now, it might mean that you've got a little bit of gut healing that needs to happen, but until that you've done that, the body would like a break from it. Maybe you have alcohol and you wake up with a rage hangover.

Body's given feedback. Do you want to keep damaging yourself and creating these repetitive loops, or are you ready to evolve out of it? I think if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance that you are ready to evolve out of it, and sometimes this means that you have to make challenging decisions.

So if you're a people pleaser, you might have to stop or cut back for a while and in that feels edgy for you, like discuss it with the people that you love. I'm gonna have to step back for a little bit because my body's like screaming out to me. It's in pain and all the time I keep showing up for someone else.

I'm not showing up for me, and that's what I really need to do. Oh, I've got such resistance for it. Like, can you understand that? I might go, no, but most of them, most people are gonna say, yeah, I understand. I really understand. Because we actually all need to be taking better care of ourselves, all of us, which means we actually don't need as much help from others anyway.

Because we are doing it, and so the whole world would be

more self-sufficient, but not saying that you don't need help from others, we can then, then we can receive help from others in like really joyful ways rather than like, I don't know, do you need me to carry your shopping home for you and UN and unpack it to put it in your fridge? It could be. We've got some more free time 'cause we've both been looking after ourselves.

How about we both go to a dance event this weekend or whatever it is you like A music event or a walk in nature is freeing you up for more of the good stuff. Are you ready for it? Are you ready to take ownership? Are you ready to feel? You probably won't want to feel This is a message that come through to me.

I was with my friends in the woods this week and the message I got was. We collectively and me still don't want to feel a lot. There's a lot of things we don't want to feel when you have happiness. When happiness is present, you don't say, oh, quick, I need to book a chiropractor or an acupuncture. I've got happiness and I dunno how long it's gonna be here.

We don't make up a story about it. We know that it's fleeting. We know enjoy it while it's here. The same can be true for pain, but we make a story. I mean, I had, um, frozen shoulder. The first time I had it. It lasted six weeks. Couldn't move, couldn't wash my hair, couldn't walk down a curb without my arm being in agony.

I mean, if someone had. Offered to cut it off at that point. Like do you know when you're in that much agonizing pain that you're like, I'll do anything. Anything to not have this pain, right? Anything. Not to feel it. So the second time I got a frozen shoulder, I was scared. I was in so much fear. What if this last six weeks again, so if you're in pain in any way, what's the story?

What's the story that you're attaching? And can you just come back to the present moment?

In this present moment, this is what I have. It might be in pain in some ways, and maybe in another way in your body, like you're noticing, I don't know, I am having a good hair day, or my hips are feeling really good today. Or, um, my relationships are feeling balanced, or my nose is pain free. We're not only one thing with a whole range all in one go, it's just what we're focusing on.

What'd you think? Send, send us a message and let us know. We're on Instagram at Holistic Health Collective uk, or you can drop us an email hello@holistichealthcollective.co.uk. So that's a little bit of my orienting about pain today and being with it and understanding it and moving through it. And gosh, could you even find pleasure in the pain?

I mean, some people do BDSM. Hello.

Apparently it's one culture that they put hooks through the skin and he hook themselves up and it's for pleasure. The reason being is no one ever told 'em. It hurts. They, they're feeling into a sensation and choosing to enjoy the sensation. It's a bit like a rollercoaster. Some people love it and some people hate it.

It's all the same thing. It's just your perspective.

So maybe you could even go to a real edge and find, find some pleasure in the pain. Maybe that's a step too far. It's your own journey.

If you like this kind of work, this is what we talk about a lot in the holistic health collect, uh, circle, sorry, in our membership circle, and we give you the tools to help come back to the body a lot. So things like breath work, meditation, like we try and figure out a lot of things in our head, and it's the body that's got the wisdom.

We have the moon ceremonies to, so you can live cyclically. We have the community and we have, um, workshops every month on different subjects. I'm gonna record some intros to them on the podcast where you hear a little bit more, but I'm gonna talk about gut health, liver health, blood sugar, balance, and so much more.

And just before I go, I'd love to let you know about a few events that we have got coming up. If you are interested in events. We love, love, love our online work. And we also feel that we need to balance that out with in person connection, which we feel takes things even deeper. And we love to meet, um, clients who were friends online, who become friends in real life.

It's such a privilege and an honor. So a few events that we've got coming up, uh, one, I'm recording this in March, 2025. So one we've got coming up in August, 2025, um, is the Lionsgate portal. So that's the eighth of the eighth. We are running an event in Canterbury. That's all I'll say about it here, but it's in a beautiful yet, and it'll be a nourishing day.

We have time indoors and time outdoors together as well. So look that up on the website. Um, www.holistichealthcollective.co.uk. We've got coming up in September. Our annual, it's turning into our annual trip to Glastonbury. We haven't actually done it at the Autumn Equinox before, but we're not around at summer solstice this year.

So we are going for the autumn equinox. We've got a few tickets left. That's a really nice event. It's over two days. You can choose to come for one or two and you organize your own accommodation. So often when we run a retreats, they're residential, meaning you come and stay with us, but this time you sort out your own accommodation, which gives you flexibility.

You could share with friends. You could come up in a camper van. You could maybe even ca um, go in a tent. I think there's availability at the location actually to go in a tent. So anyway, have a look at the ticket. You can join us for a day or two. In addition to that, Sarah and I run local events. So Sarah is in Westgate On Sea, which is near Margate in Kent, and she's got some saunas coming up.

So it's kind of like breathwork Sauna Full Moon or New Moon cacao. That's a general vibe, so check them out and. I live not too far from Maidstone in Kent, about seven miles from Maidstone in Kent. So if you're my neck of the woods, I run regular women's circles and song circles. Actually, just from my house, I used to hire venues and it's, do you know what?

It's worked out so much easier and more pleasurable to do it from home. Yesterday I had, we come to the end of a cycle, a six week cycle. Of women's circles and we all have lunch on the last day and I can do that 'cause I'm at home and it's just really nice we get to sit around a table and eat together and feel the lux luxuriousness of women meeting on a Thursday afternoon and, and, and lunch in together, which feels luxurious, but actually like we are here on earth to actually enjoy our experience, not just work and be in pain or not enjoy our lives.

So that's really, really beautiful. I'm just trying to think if there's anything else coming up. We've got, um, we get basically, I think gonna be stepping into, it's moving through both Sarah and I at the moment, more dance events. So we're thinking about organizing one for, um, what's known as Halloween.

We've also got one coming up in May. That's my way also on a Thursday afternoon. So just, just drop us a message, an email, or drop us a message on Instagram. If you've got our WhatsApp, WhatsApp app, we can send you the links. We're trying to get it all on the website. Um, but sometimes there's a lot of backend admin stuff to get onto the website so it doesn't all get up.

Often we're just sharing in WhatsApp groups or just with the Holistic Health Circle, and they sort of find out first, and if there's tickets left, then we. Um, share about them publicly as well. So that's a little bit about what's going on in our world. There's lots going on in the membership. Uh, we are gonna be moving into Gut Health Month in April, 2025, so I will record a podcast episode on that soon.

In the meantime, sending you so much love. Thank you for tuning in to this episode, and I'll catch you soon.

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